You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When...
-You haven't slept
since the Clinton Administration.
-Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.
-Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
-You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso."
-On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.
-You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers.
-You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"
-When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
-You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears.
-You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.
-You think sleep is for the weak.
-You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend"
-You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
-You know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.
-You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.
-You can name five flavors of JOLT.
-You have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.
-You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
-Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
-You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
-You have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA".
-Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
-You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
-Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
-You've ever an airplane's call button just to get a coffee refill.
-You've knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.
-Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
-You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.
-The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
-You see nothing wrong with using water Joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your No-doze.
-It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
-You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
-You'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning.
-You've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine.
-You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.
-You dip espresso beans.
-You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to caffeine.
-Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.
-Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
-You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso."
-On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.
-You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers.
-You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"
-When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
-You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears.
-You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.
-You think sleep is for the weak.
-You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend"
-You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
-You know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.
-You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.
-You can name five flavors of JOLT.
-You have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.
-You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
-Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
-You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
-You have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA".
-Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
-You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
-Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
-You've ever an airplane's call button just to get a coffee refill.
-You've knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.
-Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
-You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.
-The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
-You see nothing wrong with using water Joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your No-doze.
-It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
-You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
-You'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning.
-You've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine.
-You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.
-You dip espresso beans.
-You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to caffeine.
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